While all types of fiction require that the author make their works believable, science fiction and fantasy share the need to actively suspend disbelief. Because of the very nature of these genres, failure to meet this lofty goal can result in unpleasant consequences. The worst of these being that the person reading your work is disappointed or dislikes your book.
If you are interested in selling your book to a publisher make note of this. If you cannot suspend disbelief for the average reader, potential agents and publishing houses are going to send you a rejection. If you are fortunate it will be a form rejection.
When I write a novel I try to focus on several things:
1: Making my storyline feasible within the rules of my world and society.
2: Make my characters as ‘real’ of people as I can.
3: I try to steal my character’s shoes.
But what does this mean?
1: Making my storyline feasible within the rules of my world and society.
Whenever I write a novel I set rules on the societies, the functions of magic or the processes of science that will take place. My science fiction piece has a planet with two suns. It is questionable, at the very best, that such a planet can exist.
In order to suspend disbelief I found one simple solution: the planet cannot exist for a long period of time.
In a golden cradle situation, where the planet is trapped just at the brink of the two battling suns, my characters fight for their survival by seeking a way to get away from their planet. Before either one of the suns exert dominance over the globe and it is destroyed out of that golden cradle zone where life can exist.
Weather patterns change as the planet is pulled towards the more dominant sun, and the sun that is being overwhelmed is being pulled with it. The one sun is dying a slow death, and the other will be consumed in the last moments of its sister’s destruction.
Especially as the villain accelerates the process.
By admitting how infeasible the concept is, it is possible for the reader to temporarily suspend disbelief and accept that this situation could – in the light of advanced science – be feasible.
In science fiction, suspending disbelief is even more important. A reader approaching a fantasy book wants to explore new worlds where things that cannot happen do happen. Science fiction fans want to imagine that something might – somehow – happen and want to see just how the author believes it can be so. Obviously there are some genres of science fiction that share the easily suspended belief of a fantasy book, but there are more genres that require a steady foundation and reasonable suspensions of belief.
2: Make my characters as ‘real’ of people as I can.
When I read a book, I want a character I can relate to on some level or another. Because of this, I try to make my characters as real as possible. I believe this is a key part of writing a good book. This is just my opinion, however.
Finally, 3: I try to steal my character’s shoes.
What the…?
I’m sure the shoes of these poor characters are not that comfortable. In fact, I like reading about characters that have to struggle and fail before they succeed. However, there is one thing I remind myself when I think of my characters’ shoes. If I am going to steal their shoes to walk around with, I want to be as far away from them as possible when they find out. This way, I have their shoes and I am really far away from them when they try to kick my butt.
No matter how you look at it, it often becomes a notable point that characters in science fiction and fantasy novels are really, really made of awesome sauce and could kick my butt in a street fight. I mean, really. Would you want to be caught with the shoes of a character that can shoot lightning beams out of their…
I’m sure you get the idea.
Writing is not an art where you can write about characters without leaving some sort of trace of yourself in them. It happens whether or not you are aware of it. This is due to the simple fact that when you write, you are drawing on your own skills, your own experiences and your own perceptions of how a society should be within your world. Some writers ‘get into the heads of their characters’ while others state they do not.
In either case you will often leave something of yourself behind. It is this link that will allow your reader to see glimmers of things that they can relate to with your characters. It is also this relation that will help you suspend disbelief.
I am not suggesting that you make every character a cookie cutter form of yourself. However, you need to somehow ensure that there is enough of a ‘human’ side to your characters – especially the protagonists – which they can believe in what these characters are doing.
The further outside of the realms of normality you stray the more important that this becomes.
Read your own writing and ask yourself one little question: If I had not been the one to write this, would I believe it?
Sometimes looking over your own works with a grain of salt and a lot of scepticism can help.
Good luck, writer. This is a long and difficult journey.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
On Success and On Failure
Today, I watched a video on facebook that made me stop and think.
It is the story of a man named Nick, who was born without arms or legs with a very simple message. If you fail, will you try again, and again, and again until you succeed?
Today, I wish to apply this message to the subject of writing both fantasy and science fiction. While this can be used in any genre of writing, there are some applications that just make more sense to use with both fantasy and sci-fi.
There is a common thread that the heroes and villains of both fantasy and science fiction pieces are healthy, strong and evil. At the very least, dramatically misunderstood. They often have to make efforts -- why would we read about these characters? -- but they almost always pick themselves up and succeed .
Usually without nearly half as much of the fuss that we feel as we go through life. (Emo or not.)
The more I think on it, I often see books or stories where characters deal with catastrophic injuries and somehow 'get all better'. Or they are given fake limbs. Luke Skywalker is a classic example. He loses his hand but proceeds to function just as if he had not lost it in the first place through use of replacement limbs. Anakin Skywalker is burned over most of his body and must use a respirator... but he is able to function just fine through the use of science and the force.
Characters are killed frequently in many stories. They are rarely disabled.
I believe that everyone enjoys a story with a happy ending, or at least the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, even if the ending is happy at the end. I do not think may people are comfortable about writing about disabilities, especially when it is not something that they themselves have experienced.
However, one of my favorite books of all time has a crippled boy as a main character. A catastrophically crippled from birth boy who rises above his disability to become something much more than 'just a cripple'.
It is this that I would like to offer as something to consider.
When you write, it is a daily process of getting back up and trying again. And again. And again. For every day that you do not work on your story, you have failed.
Every time you submit a novel for publication and receive a rejection from a house or an editor, do you allow this to bring you down? Does this failure mean that you lose hope that you will succeed?
As a fantasy or science fiction writer, you have the ability to twist the rules of reality to purpose the finer and more troubling aspects of life. You can turn a crippled man into a hero that can walk through science. You can play god with little regard to the real life and the real rules. We step out of the realms of normality each and every day.
But from the books I have been reading as of late, many authors do not pursue the thought of what it would be like for a cripple who does not benefit from the godly powers of science or the fantasy world they have created. Often, the handicaps characters face are emotional or magical in nature. Rarely physical.
Now, I am not saying it does not happen. It does. There are a lot of books I really enjoy that pursue this very subject. But these authors are known to push the envelope and write about things that will take you out of your comfort zone.
When you write you leave your safe, sheltered little box and step into a great big world. Many people write what they know.
My challenge for you is to write something that you do not know. Step into that big bad world and give it all you got.
When you fail, stand up and try again. And no one promised you a pretty novel on a silver platter. You will fail.
All that matters is never stopping trying to stand back up at the end of the day.
It is the story of a man named Nick, who was born without arms or legs with a very simple message. If you fail, will you try again, and again, and again until you succeed?
Today, I wish to apply this message to the subject of writing both fantasy and science fiction. While this can be used in any genre of writing, there are some applications that just make more sense to use with both fantasy and sci-fi.
There is a common thread that the heroes and villains of both fantasy and science fiction pieces are healthy, strong and evil. At the very least, dramatically misunderstood. They often have to make efforts -- why would we read about these characters? -- but they almost always pick themselves up and succeed .
Usually without nearly half as much of the fuss that we feel as we go through life. (Emo or not.)
The more I think on it, I often see books or stories where characters deal with catastrophic injuries and somehow 'get all better'. Or they are given fake limbs. Luke Skywalker is a classic example. He loses his hand but proceeds to function just as if he had not lost it in the first place through use of replacement limbs. Anakin Skywalker is burned over most of his body and must use a respirator... but he is able to function just fine through the use of science and the force.
Characters are killed frequently in many stories. They are rarely disabled.
I believe that everyone enjoys a story with a happy ending, or at least the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, even if the ending is happy at the end. I do not think may people are comfortable about writing about disabilities, especially when it is not something that they themselves have experienced.
However, one of my favorite books of all time has a crippled boy as a main character. A catastrophically crippled from birth boy who rises above his disability to become something much more than 'just a cripple'.
It is this that I would like to offer as something to consider.
When you write, it is a daily process of getting back up and trying again. And again. And again. For every day that you do not work on your story, you have failed.
Every time you submit a novel for publication and receive a rejection from a house or an editor, do you allow this to bring you down? Does this failure mean that you lose hope that you will succeed?
As a fantasy or science fiction writer, you have the ability to twist the rules of reality to purpose the finer and more troubling aspects of life. You can turn a crippled man into a hero that can walk through science. You can play god with little regard to the real life and the real rules. We step out of the realms of normality each and every day.
But from the books I have been reading as of late, many authors do not pursue the thought of what it would be like for a cripple who does not benefit from the godly powers of science or the fantasy world they have created. Often, the handicaps characters face are emotional or magical in nature. Rarely physical.
Now, I am not saying it does not happen. It does. There are a lot of books I really enjoy that pursue this very subject. But these authors are known to push the envelope and write about things that will take you out of your comfort zone.
When you write you leave your safe, sheltered little box and step into a great big world. Many people write what they know.
My challenge for you is to write something that you do not know. Step into that big bad world and give it all you got.
When you fail, stand up and try again. And no one promised you a pretty novel on a silver platter. You will fail.
All that matters is never stopping trying to stand back up at the end of the day.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Motivation and making excuses
It seems like one of the most common threads of discussion among writers is how to stay motivated. It can be hard. I fail at it myself. However, there are a few things that you can do to keep yourself going.
For me, I think one of the biggest things that helps keep me on pace is one very simple tip:
A novel is much larger than a sentence.
When I think of a novel and writing one, it is difficult to get past the scope of what I am doing. No matter how I look at it, the idea of undertaking a novel is enormous. You cannot sit down and write a completed novel in a day.
Really. I don't think it is statistically possible. Maybe if you were superman.
For those interested, you would have to write 2083 words an hour (34 words a minute) for 24 hours. Without stop. Maybe a very fast typer could manage it, but the whole lack of sleep and plot bunnies thing would probably prevent a successful completion. If you have managed 50k in 24 hours, however, I'd be interested to hear from you. What color would you like your shrine in? :)
I stray.
The point remains that the average person cannot write a novel in a day. However, the average person *can* write a sentence in a day. In fact, I would hazard that most people could write a sentence every few minutes, if they were really interested in doing so. Enough people manage to write many sentences in a few minutes on twitter.
Do not view your novel as a novel. If you have trouble maintaining your motivation when you consider your novel, view it as a connected series of sentences. Sit down, every single morning, and tell yourself the following:
Today I will write one sentence.
Sit down and write one sentence. Sometimes, just sometimes, that one sentence can bloom into several sentences. Time twists and warps, as your fingers settle into the steady rhythm of typing. Because you sat down with the goal of writing one sentence, you may find an hour has passed you by, and your moment of dedication evolved into something much better than a moment.
Do not tell yourself "I cleaned, I edited, I walked the dog. I took care of the children. Maybe I will find time tomorrow to write.
Do not push off to tomorrow what you can do today. If you have enough time to log onto twitter, check your saved searches, see who messaged you and respond, you have enough time to sit down and write your sentence.
The only person you fail is yourself. The instant you have time to go to a website like twitter, visit my blog, or go to facebook, you have enough time to write a single sentence.
After all, the greatest stories of all times began with a single sentence.
The only person that you fail when you choose twitter or facebook or a blog is yourself.
I wrote 2846 words so far today. That is many sentences.
It all started with one.
Stop viewing your novel as a novel, and start viewing it as a sentence that happens to have a lot of other siblings. Are you stuck? Don't think of the plot. Think of the next sentence. If you are still stuck, write something -- anything -- onto the page.
Even if it is something as simple as:
"I can do this."
Excuses hurt you and do not define your character as a writer. The difference between an author and a writer is quite simple:
The Author didn't make excuses.
They corrected what they were doing wrong, sat down at their computers or typewriters, and wrote their sentences.
You can do it, if you stop making excuses and start making sentences instead.
Quality will come with time.
National Novel Writing Month is coming up in November. Starting today, you can see what results practicing your sentences today can do for your writing of tomorrow.
For me, I think one of the biggest things that helps keep me on pace is one very simple tip:
A novel is much larger than a sentence.
When I think of a novel and writing one, it is difficult to get past the scope of what I am doing. No matter how I look at it, the idea of undertaking a novel is enormous. You cannot sit down and write a completed novel in a day.
Really. I don't think it is statistically possible. Maybe if you were superman.
For those interested, you would have to write 2083 words an hour (34 words a minute) for 24 hours. Without stop. Maybe a very fast typer could manage it, but the whole lack of sleep and plot bunnies thing would probably prevent a successful completion. If you have managed 50k in 24 hours, however, I'd be interested to hear from you. What color would you like your shrine in? :)
I stray.
The point remains that the average person cannot write a novel in a day. However, the average person *can* write a sentence in a day. In fact, I would hazard that most people could write a sentence every few minutes, if they were really interested in doing so. Enough people manage to write many sentences in a few minutes on twitter.
Do not view your novel as a novel. If you have trouble maintaining your motivation when you consider your novel, view it as a connected series of sentences. Sit down, every single morning, and tell yourself the following:
Today I will write one sentence.
Sit down and write one sentence. Sometimes, just sometimes, that one sentence can bloom into several sentences. Time twists and warps, as your fingers settle into the steady rhythm of typing. Because you sat down with the goal of writing one sentence, you may find an hour has passed you by, and your moment of dedication evolved into something much better than a moment.
Do not tell yourself "I cleaned, I edited, I walked the dog. I took care of the children. Maybe I will find time tomorrow to write.
Do not push off to tomorrow what you can do today. If you have enough time to log onto twitter, check your saved searches, see who messaged you and respond, you have enough time to sit down and write your sentence.
The only person you fail is yourself. The instant you have time to go to a website like twitter, visit my blog, or go to facebook, you have enough time to write a single sentence.
After all, the greatest stories of all times began with a single sentence.
The only person that you fail when you choose twitter or facebook or a blog is yourself.
I wrote 2846 words so far today. That is many sentences.
It all started with one.
Stop viewing your novel as a novel, and start viewing it as a sentence that happens to have a lot of other siblings. Are you stuck? Don't think of the plot. Think of the next sentence. If you are still stuck, write something -- anything -- onto the page.
Even if it is something as simple as:
"I can do this."
Excuses hurt you and do not define your character as a writer. The difference between an author and a writer is quite simple:
The Author didn't make excuses.
They corrected what they were doing wrong, sat down at their computers or typewriters, and wrote their sentences.
You can do it, if you stop making excuses and start making sentences instead.
Quality will come with time.
National Novel Writing Month is coming up in November. Starting today, you can see what results practicing your sentences today can do for your writing of tomorrow.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Handwriting versus Keyboarding
Hey -- sorry for such the long delay in making any posts. Things have been busy.
Today, I am going to throw to the table the classic argument of which is better: Handwriting versus Keyboarding. By Keyboarding, I mean typing your story directly to the computer.
This is not as easy of a subject as it sounds. There are lots of arguments for both. In fact, there is no one right way to do it. This is completely subjective.
This level of subjectiveness is what makes this a *fun* topic of discussion. What do *you* do?
I do both. It depends what mood I am in when I start a project. This is the key point: What mood I am in when I *start* a project. I think a very costly mistake is trying to do both at once. I write completely differently on notebook paper when I do to the computer. I don't know what it is about notebook paper, but I write to the plot, plot bunnies abound, and I usually tell an entertaining, if not horribly written story.
That said, once I go to the computer, I often end up with a better product at the end of the day. I lose the tendency to edit while I am writing, so every word I add is being directly productive.
This is just me, of course.
Here is a very small list of pros and cons for handwriting -- specific to me:
Pros:
Inability to edit
Inability to see word count
Pure story-telling
PENS.
Cons:
Inability to see word count
Aching Wrists and Hands
Need paper + Pen. Lots of pens, and lots of paper.
I really like pens. No, seriously. I love pens. You want a friend for life? Give me a pen. Costco sells pens in bulk. My husband tries very hard to avoid that section of the store.
There is one benefit to handwriting that is hard to list as a con or pro. It is the primary reason I still use what many view as an archaic form of writing. When I transfer the handwritten work to the computer, I am able to 'see' the story better. I can fix many of the plot holes, add in the descriptions I need, and track the correct character appearances. (As an aside, my characters change their looks 10 or so times each when I handwrite. Absolutely zero attempts at consistency. I will pick their 'true' appearances when I copy the writing to the computer.)
On the other hand, when I try to type directly onto the computer, I tend to develop some bad, lazy habits. This is great for projects like NanoWrimo, where the entire purpose is to write for fun and solely for fun and word count. I find I take a few steps backwards from over analyzing when I write draft onto the computer.
I think the primary source of this is my contract work as a professional writer/editor. When I see text in a word processor, my mind begins to go into editing mode.
After much thought, I realized the only way to solve it for my situation was to cease the word processor.
That said, I have not used many 'writing programs'. I consider trying them, but either they are extremely expensive or I am too lazy to follow their suggested method of doing things. I have always done things in the way that suit me best. For a more coherent example of the differences in the type styles, I will cover my thoughts on my own writing, first on handwriting and then on keyboarding.
Writing Quality - First Draft - Handwriting
Poor quality. I spend little time on spelling, while i make efforts to use somewhat proper grammar, this is secondary to getting the story told. I focus on elements that drive the story. If a description is important, I have a tendency to over-describe it. There is a lot of focus on dialog and basic character actions and interactions.
Writing Quality - First Draft - Keyboarding
Higher quality. I bog down with grammar fixes, spelling and word choice and general flow. I have a secondary focus on description, and I am less likely to include any frivolous conversations between characters. There are less plot-bunnies, but often less plot in the first draft.
Writing Quality - Second Draft - Handwriting
At this point I am copying the draft to the computer via Keyboarding. Draft quality is significantly higher. I refine what is there, kill off the bunnies and groom the ones I wish to keep.
Writing Quality - Second Draft - Keyboarding
Lower quality compared to handwriting. I am just polishing first quality draft. I end up with 'less work' because it is already on the computer, but sacrifice quality in the sense that I did not play as much outside of the box when I originally drafted.
Word Choice - Handwriting
More natural word choices. I am less likely to hit a thesaurus and more likely to just use the first appropriate word that comes to mind.
Word Choice - Keyboarding
Much more likely to use higher level vocabulary since a thesaurus is a click away.
Grammar - Handwriting
First draft grammar is laughable at best. If there is a rule for something, I have likely broken it. However, the benefit to this is learning through experimentation. Since I know sentence structure will likely not remain the same, I feel free to try new things since I know they will be corrected upon transfer to the computer.
Grammar - Keyboarding
Those green squiggles sometimes make me go back, often, and think of better ways to write a sentence. I tend to refine my grammar on the first draft. This is slower to write, but somewhat educational. That said, I don't totally trust those green squiggles. Humans are better at grammar.
Spelling...
*snort* There is no point in this entry. Keyboarding wins.
Editing - Handwriting
I have half pages chunks scribbled out. If I have made a 'this must be gone error', it is immortalized in big scribble marks. This is good for reference later.
Editing - Keyboarding
I do not track my edits on a novel to keep file size down and prevent more sources of potential crashes. I sometimes miss seeing the horrible sections I removed. If I removed a section while handwriting, it was just *that* bad.
Time - Handwriting
Counter to initial thought, I write faster when handwriting in many cases. I won't win a straight word count battle versus my keyboarding skills, but I do not stop and go. I just keep a constant stream of fairly quick writing going on. Because I am not saddled to my computers, I can write in more places conveniently.
Time - Keyboarding
If I am on a roll, I can whip out thousands of words an hour. IF I do not edit, IF I know exactly what I want to do, and IF I can ignore facebook and twitter. That is not often the case.
In a way, it takes longer to deal with handwriting because of the fact I have to copy it to the computer after. However, when I am copying, I am not using facebook, twitter and other distracting websites.
All in all, handwriting wins for when I want to write something seriously. Sigh. Now if only I could convince my husband that yes, I really need the hundreds upon hundreds of pens I want and that he refuses to buy for me...
Today, I am going to throw to the table the classic argument of which is better: Handwriting versus Keyboarding. By Keyboarding, I mean typing your story directly to the computer.
This is not as easy of a subject as it sounds. There are lots of arguments for both. In fact, there is no one right way to do it. This is completely subjective.
This level of subjectiveness is what makes this a *fun* topic of discussion. What do *you* do?
I do both. It depends what mood I am in when I start a project. This is the key point: What mood I am in when I *start* a project. I think a very costly mistake is trying to do both at once. I write completely differently on notebook paper when I do to the computer. I don't know what it is about notebook paper, but I write to the plot, plot bunnies abound, and I usually tell an entertaining, if not horribly written story.
That said, once I go to the computer, I often end up with a better product at the end of the day. I lose the tendency to edit while I am writing, so every word I add is being directly productive.
This is just me, of course.
Here is a very small list of pros and cons for handwriting -- specific to me:
Pros:
Inability to edit
Inability to see word count
Pure story-telling
PENS.
Cons:
Inability to see word count
Aching Wrists and Hands
Need paper + Pen. Lots of pens, and lots of paper.
I really like pens. No, seriously. I love pens. You want a friend for life? Give me a pen. Costco sells pens in bulk. My husband tries very hard to avoid that section of the store.
There is one benefit to handwriting that is hard to list as a con or pro. It is the primary reason I still use what many view as an archaic form of writing. When I transfer the handwritten work to the computer, I am able to 'see' the story better. I can fix many of the plot holes, add in the descriptions I need, and track the correct character appearances. (As an aside, my characters change their looks 10 or so times each when I handwrite. Absolutely zero attempts at consistency. I will pick their 'true' appearances when I copy the writing to the computer.)
On the other hand, when I try to type directly onto the computer, I tend to develop some bad, lazy habits. This is great for projects like NanoWrimo, where the entire purpose is to write for fun and solely for fun and word count. I find I take a few steps backwards from over analyzing when I write draft onto the computer.
I think the primary source of this is my contract work as a professional writer/editor. When I see text in a word processor, my mind begins to go into editing mode.
After much thought, I realized the only way to solve it for my situation was to cease the word processor.
That said, I have not used many 'writing programs'. I consider trying them, but either they are extremely expensive or I am too lazy to follow their suggested method of doing things. I have always done things in the way that suit me best. For a more coherent example of the differences in the type styles, I will cover my thoughts on my own writing, first on handwriting and then on keyboarding.
Writing Quality - First Draft - Handwriting
Poor quality. I spend little time on spelling, while i make efforts to use somewhat proper grammar, this is secondary to getting the story told. I focus on elements that drive the story. If a description is important, I have a tendency to over-describe it. There is a lot of focus on dialog and basic character actions and interactions.
Writing Quality - First Draft - Keyboarding
Higher quality. I bog down with grammar fixes, spelling and word choice and general flow. I have a secondary focus on description, and I am less likely to include any frivolous conversations between characters. There are less plot-bunnies, but often less plot in the first draft.
Writing Quality - Second Draft - Handwriting
At this point I am copying the draft to the computer via Keyboarding. Draft quality is significantly higher. I refine what is there, kill off the bunnies and groom the ones I wish to keep.
Writing Quality - Second Draft - Keyboarding
Lower quality compared to handwriting. I am just polishing first quality draft. I end up with 'less work' because it is already on the computer, but sacrifice quality in the sense that I did not play as much outside of the box when I originally drafted.
Word Choice - Handwriting
More natural word choices. I am less likely to hit a thesaurus and more likely to just use the first appropriate word that comes to mind.
Word Choice - Keyboarding
Much more likely to use higher level vocabulary since a thesaurus is a click away.
Grammar - Handwriting
First draft grammar is laughable at best. If there is a rule for something, I have likely broken it. However, the benefit to this is learning through experimentation. Since I know sentence structure will likely not remain the same, I feel free to try new things since I know they will be corrected upon transfer to the computer.
Grammar - Keyboarding
Those green squiggles sometimes make me go back, often, and think of better ways to write a sentence. I tend to refine my grammar on the first draft. This is slower to write, but somewhat educational. That said, I don't totally trust those green squiggles. Humans are better at grammar.
Spelling...
*snort* There is no point in this entry. Keyboarding wins.
Editing - Handwriting
I have half pages chunks scribbled out. If I have made a 'this must be gone error', it is immortalized in big scribble marks. This is good for reference later.
Editing - Keyboarding
I do not track my edits on a novel to keep file size down and prevent more sources of potential crashes. I sometimes miss seeing the horrible sections I removed. If I removed a section while handwriting, it was just *that* bad.
Time - Handwriting
Counter to initial thought, I write faster when handwriting in many cases. I won't win a straight word count battle versus my keyboarding skills, but I do not stop and go. I just keep a constant stream of fairly quick writing going on. Because I am not saddled to my computers, I can write in more places conveniently.
Time - Keyboarding
If I am on a roll, I can whip out thousands of words an hour. IF I do not edit, IF I know exactly what I want to do, and IF I can ignore facebook and twitter. That is not often the case.
In a way, it takes longer to deal with handwriting because of the fact I have to copy it to the computer after. However, when I am copying, I am not using facebook, twitter and other distracting websites.
All in all, handwriting wins for when I want to write something seriously. Sigh. Now if only I could convince my husband that yes, I really need the hundreds upon hundreds of pens I want and that he refuses to buy for me...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Researching your novel
One thing that some Fantasy and Science Fiction writers (and authors) fail to realize is that research should be an important part of your world building process. It is very easy to fall to the temptation of just writing whatever you want when you are working on a F/SF novel.
This should not be the case.
I have been working on a young adult novel project lately. This has some fantastical elements - ghosts, legends, myths and the kin. But, in the end, it really is about a modern girl who gets to experience some pretty fantastic things. Fantasy? In a way.
Factual? As factual as any myth or legend can be.
Researched? You bet.
But, as I have been doing the research for this project, I realized something. No matter how much I would just jump in and write a fantasy novel, I would be doing research. However, not as much research as I should have been doing.
What things should I have researched for my fantasy novel projects? Well, I will provide you a list and my reasoning. Writing this young adult, I feel, has greatly improved my ability to see a plot line and condense it into something manageable. I will go into this a little later, as there is a research element involved here as well.
1: Basic sciences.
Magic, as we all know, is magical! It is not science. However, one thing should remain the same, even if you use magic in your world. This law of science should still apply. You suspend this, and you break your concept. Suspending disbelief -- or the act of convincing your reader that this could actually happen -- is vital if you want your fantasy novel to succeed. You can do this by looking at every action taken with magic and applying a basic physics law to it.
"Every action has an equal and opposite reaction."
If you throw a fireball, there will be the same force of the fireball expanding from the explosive point. In exchange, there should be a similar -- equivalent -- cost to the user. If you have a character that can just throw around massively damaging fireballs with no consequence and no reaction, belief in the sciences of the real world will not be suspended.
If you use fire a lot, research fire. This can include materials that burn best, and materials that do not burn at all. If throwing a fireball means that your character gets hit with the backlash, how can the character best protect themselves?
Exhaustion, both physical and mental, are the standard equal and opposite reaction of magic. Someone casts a fireball, and they become tired. If they become too tired, they risk death.
In the case of a cannon, the cannon recoils. But, hey, it is magic. You can bend the rules a little. But, you should always have this little rule in the back of your mind.
I would also keep the one about "What goes up must come down" firmly in mind. Especially if you have a character prone to tripping up the stairs.
2: Location, Location, Location.
Many people have it set in their minds that a F/SF novel must take place in many different locations. In some cases, this is true. In others, it is not. However, one thing does tend to be clear: The higher the number of locations pursued in a novel, the more convoluted the plot tends to become. Do not add locations just for the sake of adding locations. More locations does not give your novel an epic feel. Your writing, your style, and your story give your novel an epic feel.
When you research locations for a SF/F novel, there will be a lot of creation. The world should be yours. However, in order to suspend disbelief (here we go again...) you need to make your locations at least somewhat realistic. For this reason, I have taken to researching the equivalent on earth. Then, I see what is nearby.
Why do large cities tend to be where they are? Water supplies. Most large cities are near some form of major water supply. My home is actually on an Island. Many people I have spoken with did not realize that Montreal is in fact an island, but sure enough... there is water on all sides. Lots and lots of water. (For those who are not familiar with Montreal, it is in the middle of the St Lawrence river in Quebec... directly north of New York State.)
New York City? It has the Ocean. Baltimore? Chesapeake Bay. Miami? Ocean. Los Angeles, San Fran... Oceans, rivers and Lakes all fairly close. Ottawa? Has a river. Toronto has a lake. Chicago, Milwaukee both have a lake. Detroit likes those lakes, too. London has the ocean...
I'm sure you are getting the idea. Pay attention to the details of your location. This is particularly true of Fantasy novels. Your people will not live in a region where they can not get their basic needs: Food, Water and Shelter. They can make their own shelter, but they are in a lot of trouble if they cannot get food or water. Sure, that barren wasteland may seem like an awesome place to put a city, but large numbers of people will not be able to reside there. Not without a heck of a lot of explanation.
3: Resources
Civilized lands need resources for trade or for crafting. The resources available are determined by your location. When you research location types, do not forget to research valuable resources. You may not mention them in your novel, but these factors need to be kicking around in the back of your mind. This is an important part of what makes your world function.
4: Politics and Religion
Both of these are something that many are advised not to talk about in polite company. They can break friendships (and couples) about as fast as a penny falling to the floor from the counter. That said, these are often driving forces behind many plots. Making up your own politics and religion is great! But, you better do your research and see just how politics and religion can change a nation -- for better or for worse. With so many politicians around the world -- professional and the type who sit on their couches and comment on it -- you need to have a good idea of what actually is going on. Hitting the history books may be wise.
There are so many more things that you can research to make a SF/F novel happen. That said, it is important that you do not lose focus on the most important thing:
Your story needs a plot. It is not a story without a plot.
A plot has a beginning, a middle and an end. It is really just a big problem that needs solved. The resolution of the problem is the climax, and the stuff after that is just wrapping up the details.
You may love to write about a character, but your character needs to serve an important role to your plot.
Often, the most simple of plots are the most enjoyable to read. The more plots, the harder it is to follow.
A few examples of simplistic plots include Twilight and Harry Potter.
I will use Harry Potter in this case, as most people have had long exposure to it.. that, plus I have not read Twilight. I might read it in the future, but we will see.
Harry potter, through all of the books, has one main plot. This is the conflict between Harry + Voldemort. There are many subsequent plot lines, but all of them actually contribute, in one way or another, to the final showdown between Harry + Voldemort.
This is very important, people. Pay attention.
Every subsequent plot, in some way or another, contribute to the final showdown between Harry + Voldemort.
Your novel needs to be the same way. Every scene, every action and every dialog somehow needs to link to your main plot line.
This will really make your life a lot easier. It will also eliminate many plot holes. Easy to fix a problem when it doesn't exist in your book. (They will exist... but they will be much more minor than if you're flying off the cuff without your primary plot.)
I will leave you to chew on that a while on your own.
Good luck!
This should not be the case.
I have been working on a young adult novel project lately. This has some fantastical elements - ghosts, legends, myths and the kin. But, in the end, it really is about a modern girl who gets to experience some pretty fantastic things. Fantasy? In a way.
Factual? As factual as any myth or legend can be.
Researched? You bet.
But, as I have been doing the research for this project, I realized something. No matter how much I would just jump in and write a fantasy novel, I would be doing research. However, not as much research as I should have been doing.
What things should I have researched for my fantasy novel projects? Well, I will provide you a list and my reasoning. Writing this young adult, I feel, has greatly improved my ability to see a plot line and condense it into something manageable. I will go into this a little later, as there is a research element involved here as well.
1: Basic sciences.
Magic, as we all know, is magical! It is not science. However, one thing should remain the same, even if you use magic in your world. This law of science should still apply. You suspend this, and you break your concept. Suspending disbelief -- or the act of convincing your reader that this could actually happen -- is vital if you want your fantasy novel to succeed. You can do this by looking at every action taken with magic and applying a basic physics law to it.
"Every action has an equal and opposite reaction."
If you throw a fireball, there will be the same force of the fireball expanding from the explosive point. In exchange, there should be a similar -- equivalent -- cost to the user. If you have a character that can just throw around massively damaging fireballs with no consequence and no reaction, belief in the sciences of the real world will not be suspended.
If you use fire a lot, research fire. This can include materials that burn best, and materials that do not burn at all. If throwing a fireball means that your character gets hit with the backlash, how can the character best protect themselves?
Exhaustion, both physical and mental, are the standard equal and opposite reaction of magic. Someone casts a fireball, and they become tired. If they become too tired, they risk death.
In the case of a cannon, the cannon recoils. But, hey, it is magic. You can bend the rules a little. But, you should always have this little rule in the back of your mind.
I would also keep the one about "What goes up must come down" firmly in mind. Especially if you have a character prone to tripping up the stairs.
2: Location, Location, Location.
Many people have it set in their minds that a F/SF novel must take place in many different locations. In some cases, this is true. In others, it is not. However, one thing does tend to be clear: The higher the number of locations pursued in a novel, the more convoluted the plot tends to become. Do not add locations just for the sake of adding locations. More locations does not give your novel an epic feel. Your writing, your style, and your story give your novel an epic feel.
When you research locations for a SF/F novel, there will be a lot of creation. The world should be yours. However, in order to suspend disbelief (here we go again...) you need to make your locations at least somewhat realistic. For this reason, I have taken to researching the equivalent on earth. Then, I see what is nearby.
Why do large cities tend to be where they are? Water supplies. Most large cities are near some form of major water supply. My home is actually on an Island. Many people I have spoken with did not realize that Montreal is in fact an island, but sure enough... there is water on all sides. Lots and lots of water. (For those who are not familiar with Montreal, it is in the middle of the St Lawrence river in Quebec... directly north of New York State.)
New York City? It has the Ocean. Baltimore? Chesapeake Bay. Miami? Ocean. Los Angeles, San Fran... Oceans, rivers and Lakes all fairly close. Ottawa? Has a river. Toronto has a lake. Chicago, Milwaukee both have a lake. Detroit likes those lakes, too. London has the ocean...
I'm sure you are getting the idea. Pay attention to the details of your location. This is particularly true of Fantasy novels. Your people will not live in a region where they can not get their basic needs: Food, Water and Shelter. They can make their own shelter, but they are in a lot of trouble if they cannot get food or water. Sure, that barren wasteland may seem like an awesome place to put a city, but large numbers of people will not be able to reside there. Not without a heck of a lot of explanation.
3: Resources
Civilized lands need resources for trade or for crafting. The resources available are determined by your location. When you research location types, do not forget to research valuable resources. You may not mention them in your novel, but these factors need to be kicking around in the back of your mind. This is an important part of what makes your world function.
4: Politics and Religion
Both of these are something that many are advised not to talk about in polite company. They can break friendships (and couples) about as fast as a penny falling to the floor from the counter. That said, these are often driving forces behind many plots. Making up your own politics and religion is great! But, you better do your research and see just how politics and religion can change a nation -- for better or for worse. With so many politicians around the world -- professional and the type who sit on their couches and comment on it -- you need to have a good idea of what actually is going on. Hitting the history books may be wise.
There are so many more things that you can research to make a SF/F novel happen. That said, it is important that you do not lose focus on the most important thing:
Your story needs a plot. It is not a story without a plot.
A plot has a beginning, a middle and an end. It is really just a big problem that needs solved. The resolution of the problem is the climax, and the stuff after that is just wrapping up the details.
You may love to write about a character, but your character needs to serve an important role to your plot.
Often, the most simple of plots are the most enjoyable to read. The more plots, the harder it is to follow.
A few examples of simplistic plots include Twilight and Harry Potter.
I will use Harry Potter in this case, as most people have had long exposure to it.. that, plus I have not read Twilight. I might read it in the future, but we will see.
Harry potter, through all of the books, has one main plot. This is the conflict between Harry + Voldemort. There are many subsequent plot lines, but all of them actually contribute, in one way or another, to the final showdown between Harry + Voldemort.
This is very important, people. Pay attention.
Every subsequent plot, in some way or another, contribute to the final showdown between Harry + Voldemort.
Your novel needs to be the same way. Every scene, every action and every dialog somehow needs to link to your main plot line.
This will really make your life a lot easier. It will also eliminate many plot holes. Easy to fix a problem when it doesn't exist in your book. (They will exist... but they will be much more minor than if you're flying off the cuff without your primary plot.)
I will leave you to chew on that a while on your own.
Good luck!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Pitches and Queries - Part Deux
This is not the first time I will delve into pitches and queries. It will not be the last time. Last time, I posted a few tips and query fails as found on twitter.
Today, I will show you the singes and burn marks from passing a pitch to a willing victim... err... volunteer.
Meet the nice folks over at @Seagman on twitter. You never know if you are talking to Aaron or Scott, but they are both great folks with equally great senses of humor. Aaron was nice enough to be cornered and take some time out of his busy schedule to rip apart a query.
As my experience with queries is limited, I wrote a query specifically for the purpose of education. My education. Now, your education. As I am shameless, I will post the entire thing for you to learn from. There are some purposefully seeded #queryfail moments. (Which Aaron caught and lectured about. I guess it is a good thing that I have thick skin.)
Now, onto the query in question:
The query itself is 166 words long. This is also a #queryfail in a whole, but it was a first attempt at a serious query.
The first noted #queryfail is the fact that Aaron does NOT represent the science fiction and fantasy genres. He represents more along the lines of mysteries, thrillers and suspense. However, this is a common issue. I was astounded to discover just how many people would query out of genre. While this was a controlled experiment, done with Aaron's blessings, I strongly suggest that you do NOT do this. Learn from the ripping of this critique. These are the immediate thoughts of an agent reading the query. Do you REALLY want an agent thinking these things about your writing? I didn't think so.
When I wrote the query, I had not intended on including any manuscript with it. Why? This was an experimental query. That said, as I was about to hit send, I decided on sending a blurb along with it. Aaron seemed to enjoy ripping through it, so I'll share with you the importance of sending only POLISHED works to an agent. By polished, I mean, spit-shined polished. That manuscript better have more luster than a pearl. I am not including the entire section that I included with the query email. I don't think I could survive the embarrassment. Yes, it is a rough draft. No, I'm not happy with said rough draft. No, it was never meant to be sent to an agent. Ever. Ah, well. The things I do for the craft.
Dear Secret Agent Man Aaron,
In a single night, three hundred years of history burned to the ground.
Propelled by hatred and racism, Danar sought the annihilation of Kelsh and her people. Unprepared and undefended, the city of Heliash toppled, her inhabitants slaughtered, captive or on the run.
Mari had returned home expecting a warm reunion with her mother, father and siblings. Instead, she found plumes of dark smoke coiling towards the uncaring sky and the stench of death. Her decision to fight her way into the city to find her family's fate hurls her into a living nightmare.
Lost, alone and despairing, Mari discovers the Tower of the Rising Sun. Never found by those seeking it and never granting its power to those who desired it, the Tower was both legend and myth.
What Mari did not expect was the high price the Tower would demand.
Burdened with a pledge unbreakable even by death, Mari must stop the demons of Danar, even if it means the destruction of her soul.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Rebecca J. Blain
Faint screams drifted on the gusting winds of the Sariano plains. The acrid stench of burning flesh assaulted Kari, the force of it so great she yanked her horse to a halt. The dark mare tossed her head and snorted, ears laid back. Falling over the saddle’s horn, she clutched at her mouth with a hand, fighting the waves of nausea that sought to overwhelm her.
Kari blessed the stars and the sky that Luna was so well trained. Legs braced in place, the horse patiently stood as she struggled to sit upright. Kari’s lungs burned as she choked and coughed. While the smoke was not thick, the putrid odor was so vile that her stomach churned despite her best efforts.
Her throat swallowed and convulsed as she sat up. Days of sweat and dirt had a unique and disgusting scent of its own, but it bought her the precious moments to steel her nerve and her guts.
After all, days on the road without a bath gave her plenty of time to adjust to that smell.
With the dark tendrils of night falling over the plains, she did not dare kick her horse into a gallop to climb the hill and discover the source of the sounds and scent. Turning Luna into the wind, she settled on a sedate walk.
_Goddess above, what is happening here?_
Kari knew the stench of decay or of burning bodies but that did not make it any easier to endure. She had survived two wars that bore more death and hardship than she wished to remember. The smell was reminiscent of the aftermath, the sacrificial pyres of the dead so that the survivors might not die of disease even as they recovered.
--
Now, onto the critique.
Dear Secret Agent Man Aaron,
This should be just Aaron, or Mr. Montaine to impress my mom.
In a single night, three hundred years of history burned to the ground.
Nice opening line. No, really. I like it.
Propelled by hatred and racism, Danar sought the annihilation of Kelsh and her people. Unprepared and undefended, the city of Heliash toppled, her inhabitants slaughtered, captive or on the run.
This is kind of interesting, except . . . why? Besides the whole hatred/racism thing, why does Danar want to annihilate Kelsh? That's not something you hear every day. Also, is Danar male, female, a unicorn? Is Kelsh a city or a queen? And I'm not sure what Heliash has to do with Kelsh, Danar or the unicorn.
Mari had returned home expecting a warm reunion with her mother, father and siblings. Instead, she found plumes of dark smoke coiling towards the uncaring sky and the stench of death. Her decision to fight her way into the city to find her family's fate hurls her into a living nightmare.
Danar, Kelsh, Heliash and now Mari . . . I'm already getting dizzy. I suspect Danar took care of Heliash, and is now going after Kelsh, and Mari is, I assume, going to be the savior. I'm pretty sure most skies don't care, so to specify that this particular sky is "uncaring" is a bit of over-writing. Also, hurling into a living nightmare is not very specific or descriptive. Is she tortured? Raped? Forced to watch Dancing With The Stars? Those are living nightmares.
Lost, alone and despairing, Mari discovers the Tower of the Rising Sun. Never found by those seeking it and never granting its power to those who desired it, the Tower was both legend and myth.
This is a bit confusing since she's lost, yet finds a tower no one else has found. She should buy a lottery ticket. And if she finds it, it is technically no longer a myth. The language is nice, but it doesn't tell me anything. What is its power? Why does everyone want to find it? And since the House of the Rising Sun was a brothel, I can only assume the Tower of the Rising Sun is going to get busted by the cops any day now.
What Mari did not expect was the high price the Tower would demand.
Yeah, this is vague too. I get that Mari might have lost her family -- that's a big deal. Everything else is a nicely painted mish mash of nothing. I don't know what it means, and you really haven't given me a reason to care. I should care, I want to care, but I don't. Why should I give a hoot about Mari and her missing family if there are thousands of other people burning, dying, watching Dancing With The Stars? I want to give a hoot. I have too many and I'd hate to throw them out. But Mari? She doesn't deserve any of my hoots.
Burdened with a pledge unbreakable even by death, Mari must stop the demons of Danar, even if it means the destruction of her soul.
The most concrete part of your plot yet: Mari must stop the demons of Danar. But why? Okay, I understand they're demons, and stopping them is a good thing, but she must stop them? Who said? And what would happen if she didn't? Would that high price the Tower demanded get a 25.7% APR added to it? And if it destroys her soul, wouldn't that put a damper on family reunions? I mean, a soulless Mari would just sit there and eat all the Pringles.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Word count? (I know you don't have one yet, but it's nice to pretend.)
Rebecca J. Blain
Okay, gotta go. Dancing With The Stars is on.
But wait! There's more!
Faint screams drifted on the gusting winds of the Sariano plains. The acrid stench of burning flesh assaulted Kari, the force of it so great she yanked her horse to a halt. The dark mare tossed her head and snorted, ears laid back. Falling over the saddle’s horn, she clutched at her mouth with a hand, fighting the waves of nausea that sought to overwhelm her.
Is this part of the other thing? Because it's not helping. A "gusting wind" is kind of like a "smelly fart" -- redundant and highly reminiscent of my Uncle Olaf, who was gusty in many different ways.
I don't know how a stench can assault someone, since it can't hold a club. Unless you were referring to Uncle Olaf.
The last two lines are kind of confusing since the dark mare snorted, then apparently clutched at her mouth with a hand, which means this is one special horsie. I believe you meant Kari was about to barf, but that's not what it says.
Kari blessed the stars and the sky that Luna was so well trained. Legs braced in place, the horse patiently stood as she struggled to sit upright. Kari’s lungs burned as she choked and coughed. While the smoke was not thick, the putrid odor was so vile that her stomach churned despite her best efforts.
The second line is also confusing because it's not clear who is struggling, Kari or Luna. It gets cleared up in the next line, but the confusion is still there.
Her throat swallowed and convulsed as she sat up. Days of sweat and dirt had a unique and disgusting scent of its own, but it bought her the precious moments to steel her nerve and her guts.
Okay, we get it -- three paragraphs about stinky. And it's not quite clear how her own stink gave her nerve.
After all, days on the road without a bath gave her plenty of time to adjust to that smell.
Is this really how you want to start your novel and introduce your character? Kari The Smelly?
With the dark tendrils of night falling over the plains, she did not dare kick her horse into a gallop to climb the hill and discover the source of the sounds and scent. Turning Luna into the wind, she settled on a sedate walk.
If it's all so putrid, wouldn't she go downwind and around the hill so she wouldn't have to revisit her lunch?
_Goddess above, what is happening here?_
I don't know what those little underline thingies are doing there. Just italicize it.
Kari knew the stench of decay or of burning bodies but that did not make it any easier to endure. She had survived two wars that bore more death and hardship than she wished to remember. The smell was reminiscent of the aftermath, the sacrificial pyres of the dead so that the survivors might not die of disease even as they recovered.
Back to the stink? I know the creative writing teachers emphasize using the senses, but some of the others would be nice.
--
Can you smell burned feathers? Those are mine. Once again, let me comment on the importance of never, ever sending a draft to an agent. Many of the problems that Aaron points out here I correct in edits and revisions. The draft is just that: draft. It isn't meant to see the light of day.
There was a line I bolded and italicized. Why? It is my favorite.
You will get burned as you write your queries. Take a moment and learn from mine. You can also learn from @Janet_Reid and her awesome @queryshark. I strongly recommend following Janet, her shark, Aaron and Scott. You won't regret it.
You will see a mention of using _ rather than italics. I had been fussing with an easy way to find out where I was using italics in a file and they were throwbacks. I typically use italics! That said, look at your agent's submission guidelines. Some agents absolutely do NOT want to see italics. Others want to read it as they would read the novel. Watch your submission guidelines very closely. Remember, if you do not prove you are capable of reading their guidelines, the agent will not believe you are capable of writing.
As a fare-thee-well, I leave you with a gem from twitter:
@Seagman Will the owner of a query missing a name, address, etc, but sent from the email "ILoveMyShnookies" please claim it in dumpster. Thanks.
Today, I will show you the singes and burn marks from passing a pitch to a willing victim... err... volunteer.
Meet the nice folks over at @Seagman on twitter. You never know if you are talking to Aaron or Scott, but they are both great folks with equally great senses of humor. Aaron was nice enough to be cornered and take some time out of his busy schedule to rip apart a query.
As my experience with queries is limited, I wrote a query specifically for the purpose of education. My education. Now, your education. As I am shameless, I will post the entire thing for you to learn from. There are some purposefully seeded #queryfail moments. (Which Aaron caught and lectured about. I guess it is a good thing that I have thick skin.)
Now, onto the query in question:
The query itself is 166 words long. This is also a #queryfail in a whole, but it was a first attempt at a serious query.
The first noted #queryfail is the fact that Aaron does NOT represent the science fiction and fantasy genres. He represents more along the lines of mysteries, thrillers and suspense. However, this is a common issue. I was astounded to discover just how many people would query out of genre. While this was a controlled experiment, done with Aaron's blessings, I strongly suggest that you do NOT do this. Learn from the ripping of this critique. These are the immediate thoughts of an agent reading the query. Do you REALLY want an agent thinking these things about your writing? I didn't think so.
When I wrote the query, I had not intended on including any manuscript with it. Why? This was an experimental query. That said, as I was about to hit send, I decided on sending a blurb along with it. Aaron seemed to enjoy ripping through it, so I'll share with you the importance of sending only POLISHED works to an agent. By polished, I mean, spit-shined polished. That manuscript better have more luster than a pearl. I am not including the entire section that I included with the query email. I don't think I could survive the embarrassment. Yes, it is a rough draft. No, I'm not happy with said rough draft. No, it was never meant to be sent to an agent. Ever. Ah, well. The things I do for the craft.
Dear Secret Agent Man Aaron,
In a single night, three hundred years of history burned to the ground.
Propelled by hatred and racism, Danar sought the annihilation of Kelsh and her people. Unprepared and undefended, the city of Heliash toppled, her inhabitants slaughtered, captive or on the run.
Mari had returned home expecting a warm reunion with her mother, father and siblings. Instead, she found plumes of dark smoke coiling towards the uncaring sky and the stench of death. Her decision to fight her way into the city to find her family's fate hurls her into a living nightmare.
Lost, alone and despairing, Mari discovers the Tower of the Rising Sun. Never found by those seeking it and never granting its power to those who desired it, the Tower was both legend and myth.
What Mari did not expect was the high price the Tower would demand.
Burdened with a pledge unbreakable even by death, Mari must stop the demons of Danar, even if it means the destruction of her soul.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Rebecca J. Blain
Faint screams drifted on the gusting winds of the Sariano plains. The acrid stench of burning flesh assaulted Kari, the force of it so great she yanked her horse to a halt. The dark mare tossed her head and snorted, ears laid back. Falling over the saddle’s horn, she clutched at her mouth with a hand, fighting the waves of nausea that sought to overwhelm her.
Kari blessed the stars and the sky that Luna was so well trained. Legs braced in place, the horse patiently stood as she struggled to sit upright. Kari’s lungs burned as she choked and coughed. While the smoke was not thick, the putrid odor was so vile that her stomach churned despite her best efforts.
Her throat swallowed and convulsed as she sat up. Days of sweat and dirt had a unique and disgusting scent of its own, but it bought her the precious moments to steel her nerve and her guts.
After all, days on the road without a bath gave her plenty of time to adjust to that smell.
With the dark tendrils of night falling over the plains, she did not dare kick her horse into a gallop to climb the hill and discover the source of the sounds and scent. Turning Luna into the wind, she settled on a sedate walk.
_Goddess above, what is happening here?_
Kari knew the stench of decay or of burning bodies but that did not make it any easier to endure. She had survived two wars that bore more death and hardship than she wished to remember. The smell was reminiscent of the aftermath, the sacrificial pyres of the dead so that the survivors might not die of disease even as they recovered.
--
Now, onto the critique.
Dear Secret Agent Man Aaron,
This should be just Aaron, or Mr. Montaine to impress my mom.
In a single night, three hundred years of history burned to the ground.
Nice opening line. No, really. I like it.
Propelled by hatred and racism, Danar sought the annihilation of Kelsh and her people. Unprepared and undefended, the city of Heliash toppled, her inhabitants slaughtered, captive or on the run.
This is kind of interesting, except . . . why? Besides the whole hatred/racism thing, why does Danar want to annihilate Kelsh? That's not something you hear every day. Also, is Danar male, female, a unicorn? Is Kelsh a city or a queen? And I'm not sure what Heliash has to do with Kelsh, Danar or the unicorn.
Mari had returned home expecting a warm reunion with her mother, father and siblings. Instead, she found plumes of dark smoke coiling towards the uncaring sky and the stench of death. Her decision to fight her way into the city to find her family's fate hurls her into a living nightmare.
Danar, Kelsh, Heliash and now Mari . . . I'm already getting dizzy. I suspect Danar took care of Heliash, and is now going after Kelsh, and Mari is, I assume, going to be the savior. I'm pretty sure most skies don't care, so to specify that this particular sky is "uncaring" is a bit of over-writing. Also, hurling into a living nightmare is not very specific or descriptive. Is she tortured? Raped? Forced to watch Dancing With The Stars? Those are living nightmares.
Lost, alone and despairing, Mari discovers the Tower of the Rising Sun. Never found by those seeking it and never granting its power to those who desired it, the Tower was both legend and myth.
This is a bit confusing since she's lost, yet finds a tower no one else has found. She should buy a lottery ticket. And if she finds it, it is technically no longer a myth. The language is nice, but it doesn't tell me anything. What is its power? Why does everyone want to find it? And since the House of the Rising Sun was a brothel, I can only assume the Tower of the Rising Sun is going to get busted by the cops any day now.
What Mari did not expect was the high price the Tower would demand.
Yeah, this is vague too. I get that Mari might have lost her family -- that's a big deal. Everything else is a nicely painted mish mash of nothing. I don't know what it means, and you really haven't given me a reason to care. I should care, I want to care, but I don't. Why should I give a hoot about Mari and her missing family if there are thousands of other people burning, dying, watching Dancing With The Stars? I want to give a hoot. I have too many and I'd hate to throw them out. But Mari? She doesn't deserve any of my hoots.
Burdened with a pledge unbreakable even by death, Mari must stop the demons of Danar, even if it means the destruction of her soul.
The most concrete part of your plot yet: Mari must stop the demons of Danar. But why? Okay, I understand they're demons, and stopping them is a good thing, but she must stop them? Who said? And what would happen if she didn't? Would that high price the Tower demanded get a 25.7% APR added to it? And if it destroys her soul, wouldn't that put a damper on family reunions? I mean, a soulless Mari would just sit there and eat all the Pringles.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Word count? (I know you don't have one yet, but it's nice to pretend.)
Rebecca J. Blain
Okay, gotta go. Dancing With The Stars is on.
But wait! There's more!
Faint screams drifted on the gusting winds of the Sariano plains. The acrid stench of burning flesh assaulted Kari, the force of it so great she yanked her horse to a halt. The dark mare tossed her head and snorted, ears laid back. Falling over the saddle’s horn, she clutched at her mouth with a hand, fighting the waves of nausea that sought to overwhelm her.
Is this part of the other thing? Because it's not helping. A "gusting wind" is kind of like a "smelly fart" -- redundant and highly reminiscent of my Uncle Olaf, who was gusty in many different ways.
I don't know how a stench can assault someone, since it can't hold a club. Unless you were referring to Uncle Olaf.
The last two lines are kind of confusing since the dark mare snorted, then apparently clutched at her mouth with a hand, which means this is one special horsie. I believe you meant Kari was about to barf, but that's not what it says.
Kari blessed the stars and the sky that Luna was so well trained. Legs braced in place, the horse patiently stood as she struggled to sit upright. Kari’s lungs burned as she choked and coughed. While the smoke was not thick, the putrid odor was so vile that her stomach churned despite her best efforts.
The second line is also confusing because it's not clear who is struggling, Kari or Luna. It gets cleared up in the next line, but the confusion is still there.
Her throat swallowed and convulsed as she sat up. Days of sweat and dirt had a unique and disgusting scent of its own, but it bought her the precious moments to steel her nerve and her guts.
Okay, we get it -- three paragraphs about stinky. And it's not quite clear how her own stink gave her nerve.
After all, days on the road without a bath gave her plenty of time to adjust to that smell.
Is this really how you want to start your novel and introduce your character? Kari The Smelly?
With the dark tendrils of night falling over the plains, she did not dare kick her horse into a gallop to climb the hill and discover the source of the sounds and scent. Turning Luna into the wind, she settled on a sedate walk.
If it's all so putrid, wouldn't she go downwind and around the hill so she wouldn't have to revisit her lunch?
_Goddess above, what is happening here?_
I don't know what those little underline thingies are doing there. Just italicize it.
Kari knew the stench of decay or of burning bodies but that did not make it any easier to endure. She had survived two wars that bore more death and hardship than she wished to remember. The smell was reminiscent of the aftermath, the sacrificial pyres of the dead so that the survivors might not die of disease even as they recovered.
Back to the stink? I know the creative writing teachers emphasize using the senses, but some of the others would be nice.
--
Can you smell burned feathers? Those are mine. Once again, let me comment on the importance of never, ever sending a draft to an agent. Many of the problems that Aaron points out here I correct in edits and revisions. The draft is just that: draft. It isn't meant to see the light of day.
There was a line I bolded and italicized. Why? It is my favorite.
You will get burned as you write your queries. Take a moment and learn from mine. You can also learn from @Janet_Reid and her awesome @queryshark. I strongly recommend following Janet, her shark, Aaron and Scott. You won't regret it.
You will see a mention of using _ rather than italics. I had been fussing with an easy way to find out where I was using italics in a file and they were throwbacks. I typically use italics! That said, look at your agent's submission guidelines. Some agents absolutely do NOT want to see italics. Others want to read it as they would read the novel. Watch your submission guidelines very closely. Remember, if you do not prove you are capable of reading their guidelines, the agent will not believe you are capable of writing.
As a fare-thee-well, I leave you with a gem from twitter:
@Seagman Will the owner of a query missing a name, address, etc, but sent from the email "ILoveMyShnookies" please claim it in dumpster. Thanks.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Pub Tips and Query Fails!
I love Twitter. It is a wonderful source of information, tips and people.
Today's blog post serves two purposes. First, it allows me to procrastinate starting the massive spring cleaning efforts I must begin as soon as I am done writing this. Second, it allows me to share with you one of the resources I truly love.
I will make comments as needed. However, most of these are rather self-explanatory.
Enjoy! The format is as follows: The name of the person who made the post, then their post.
LindaEpstein
#pubtip Can you at least try to hide that your query has been forwarded to 10 other agents? Those blue forward lines are distracting me.
emilyreads
Dear random author: For the last time, I WILL NOT EAT YOUR COOKIES. #pubtip
agentgame
Reading a query that was interesting up until the part where it said the wordcount was over 390k. Don't do this. #pubtip
(Why: Most epic fantasies, even the 'long ones', tend to cap at 250 words. There are exceptions, but not often. If you're writing epic fantasy... do yourself a favor and save the 500,000 word monstrosities for book #2.)
Ginger_Clark
Authors, the following words have VERY different meanings, so stop mixing them up: important/impotent; prostrate/prostate #pubtip
BostonBookGirl
Finishing your 100,000 word book in 10 days is not a selling point. Might be true, but don't put that in your query. #pubtip
LindaEpstein
#pubtip Novelists: if you're not done writing it, it's not time to query an agent. No matter how "good" it is. Query when it's complete.
tor_intheory
an MFA, while it may improve your writing skills, does not make you more publishable or guarantee you success as an author #pubtip
LindaEpstein
Eight sentences. Only seven paragraphs. #queryfail
... twitter has failed and won't let me access the older posts to get out some of my favorite query fails. That said, please head over here for #queryfail and here for #pubtip. Both of these feeds often have a lot of excellent resources for writers. It is really an eye-opener to see just what gets an agent riled up.
Today's blog post serves two purposes. First, it allows me to procrastinate starting the massive spring cleaning efforts I must begin as soon as I am done writing this. Second, it allows me to share with you one of the resources I truly love.
I will make comments as needed. However, most of these are rather self-explanatory.
Enjoy! The format is as follows: The name of the person who made the post, then their post.
LindaEpstein
#pubtip Can you at least try to hide that your query has been forwarded to 10 other agents? Those blue forward lines are distracting me.
emilyreads
Dear random author: For the last time, I WILL NOT EAT YOUR COOKIES. #pubtip
agentgame
Reading a query that was interesting up until the part where it said the wordcount was over 390k. Don't do this. #pubtip
(Why: Most epic fantasies, even the 'long ones', tend to cap at 250 words. There are exceptions, but not often. If you're writing epic fantasy... do yourself a favor and save the 500,000 word monstrosities for book #2.)
Ginger_Clark
Authors, the following words have VERY different meanings, so stop mixing them up: important/impotent; prostrate/prostate #pubtip
BostonBookGirl
Finishing your 100,000 word book in 10 days is not a selling point. Might be true, but don't put that in your query. #pubtip
LindaEpstein
#pubtip Novelists: if you're not done writing it, it's not time to query an agent. No matter how "good" it is. Query when it's complete.
tor_intheory
an MFA, while it may improve your writing skills, does not make you more publishable or guarantee you success as an author #pubtip
LindaEpstein
Eight sentences. Only seven paragraphs. #queryfail
... twitter has failed and won't let me access the older posts to get out some of my favorite query fails. That said, please head over here for #queryfail and here for #pubtip. Both of these feeds often have a lot of excellent resources for writers. It is really an eye-opener to see just what gets an agent riled up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
